After the success of my last illustrated Gus the Fox tweet, I thought the time was right to embark on another. Nothing is quite like the muse for my crafting as this depraved old rascal. This time I’ve gone for a picture of him surrounded by old crap and wasps, taking a line from this interview with him in Shortlist to accompany it. Look out for it in the National Portrait Gallery some time.
After the success of my last illustrated Gus the Fox tweet, I thought the time was right to embark on another. Nothing is quite like the muse for my crafting as this depraved old rascal. This time I’ve gone for a picture of him surrounded by old crap and wasps, taking a line from this interview with him in Shortlist to accompany it. Look out for it in the National Portrait Gallery some time.
1. Acquire a denim blouse, which was once the top half of a jump suit, from a clothes swap. Wait a year, then finally get around to fixing up the bottom edge.
The card I made for my dad’s 60th. He’s always made sure we’ve had computers in the house and so it was a no brainer. I created it in MS Paint out of necessity, though it was a fitting throwback to the calibre of image editing software I used on our Archimedes back in the day.
My husband and I are massive fans of incorrigible scallywag Gus the Fox’s Twitter feed (and why wouldn’t you be?). His birthday was coming up (my husband’s that is, am sure Gus doesn’t do anniversaries) so I set about illustrating one of his favourite Gus tweets as a gift:
I tell you what’s a fool’s errand, kidnapping a slug. Waste of time. Literally no one gives a shit.
— GusTheFox (@GusTheFox) March 9, 2012
How to bring this gnomic wisdom to life? I’m a terrible illustrator so drawing was out of the question. Given my slapdash approach to craft and Gus’ aptitude for foraging through human detritus, I opted to make something out of old scraps.
The coffee table. Dust collector, magazine rack, potential toe stub menace and elaborate remote control holder. It’s also home to the most demeaning literary sub genre next to the toilet book: the coffee table book. As I’ve banished these glorified coasters from our lounge, the coffee table is missing something useless-but-good-looking to adorn it. Introducing ‘the deconstructed map’.
I’ve been amassing a pile of fabric in my craft room for a while - leggings with hole-ridden crotches, ebay clothing purchases that were too small, jumpers with wine stains on… you know the score. The other day I found the perfect recipient for my offcuts - a corner-shaped cushion in a cupboard, one of those ones you use for sitting up in bed.
Years ago, my Grannie had covered it meticulously and florally, as was her wont. Today I covered it slapdashly in clashing 80s patchwork, as is mine.
1. Take a perfectly decent cushion, dismissed for the material it’s covered in.
When my brother and his wife had a baby girl I thought it’d be nice to knit her a hat to stay warm in her first winter. As it turns out, I knitted a hat that will be suitable for her second winter.
1. Use a different thickness of wool to the pattern and guess at the number of stitches that now need to be cast on. Knit a bit of ribbing and realise you’re about 5 inches short.
2. Stubbornly refuse to unravel and start again. Just cast another few stitches onto the needle and work up to the same number of rows (while trying to remember how many rows you’ve done.
The perfect crime! The only evidence that remains is the differing quality of the ribbing between the two pieces (the smaller piece - on the left - naturally being the piece that looks good)
3. Starting to look like an armadillo. This is correct. Probably shouldn’t be quite so big, though babies grow quite quickly don’t they?
4. When you run out of wool for the ear flaps simply unravel an abortive pair of mittens with the other ball. The left and right were different sizes and you forgot the thumbhole.
5. A halfway decent job! Now where’s that baby?
6. Ah, there she is. Fits perfectly!
I tried to make something nice. I spent an evening making pretty toffee cupcakes topped with dainty water icing (rather than the diabetic coma mountain of sludge favoured by the cupcake craze). However, bad transportation was my undoing. 6 cupcakes in a lunchbox is no way to travel, ladies.
Remember doughnut’s like Fanny’s? Well these were ‘cupcakes like burns victims’ (as my husband so graciously observed)
Last Saturday was birthday-day - one 32nd birthday drinks followed by a triple-headed 30th birthday: the 90th birthday party. That’s four cards to make, in one afternoon (I may be crafty, but I’m not organised). With little-to no inspiration, where better place to start than a box of old cables?
Tip 1: Use old audio jacks and ethernet cables to make cards for friends involved in tech and radio careers.
Use pipecleaners to cover what was probably the wrong sort of glue…
A happy side effect of this approach is the taming of that tangle of wires you thought you could make go away by covering them with a tea towel.
For the 90th birthday, I took the idea of ‘90 divided by 3’ and themed it to each of the three birthday-havers.
1. The tech / music lover (similar approach to above, more problematic gluing. Ethernet cables are cruel masters):
2. The illustrator of quirky cartoons:
3. The investigative journalist.
Tip 2 - if you’ve stopped buying newspapers but require one for a craft or ransom note-related venture, do check your building’s communal recycling areas. You might be able to give a thoroughly fitting end to a copy of the Daily Telegraph.
And there you go - the complete set of thoroughly unusual cards.
